today i smiled ...

So it's been a lot of hustle and bustle around here. Dashing to the bus stop, speeding down the stairs, shoving into the already over-packed tube during rush hour and then as the doors shut upon me wondering, "Am I on the correct train?!?" And once on the tube, the people sitting or standing 2 centimeters from one another don't look at each other, don't talk to each other and certainly don't smile at one another. We all jostle along, some reading, some listening to music, some staring blankly into space, all breathing the same air but keeping to ourselves.

The first few days as I was walking around I would smile as I passed people, and I might even say "Hi" because at home this is modus operandi (sp??). But I noticed when I did so here, people would look at me blankly or turn away. I asked my homestay host about this and she said, "So you smile and say hello to complete strangers? Oh no, we don't often do that here -- the British are much more reserved." So wanting to fit in, I have lived the last few days keeping to myself and trying to look very non-affected by the goings on all around me. And I've been so not myself.

I like interacting with people, I like asking questions and learning about people, and I like to feel connected in some way to people. Now I do understand and respect that we all have different levels of openness, and I do so want to respect that. I don't want to be rude and intrude on someone else's private life. But being often alone in a foreign land (I know we all speak English and all, but believe me -- it's different from Austin, Texas!) I want to find SOME way to connect to the people here. I don't want to walk around all day feeling so alone and isolated.

And so last night I decided that I have to be myself. I must be respectful of course, but that doesn't mean I have to cower silently in the corner all the time. So today I got on the tube, turned on my music and tapped my toe to a bit of home (Bob Schneider). As I listened I looked around the train and saw the usual reading, music listening, staring. And then it happened. I looked through the window to the tube car in front of us where a variety of people sat. One lady with long beautifully braided dark hair was looking around as we jostled along. Through the two cars our eyes met, and so I smiled at her. And do you know what? She smiled back...